One of Nellie's old students also happens to be an old schoolmate of mine, a lovely girl who moved away, married, had a beautiful baby and still keeps Nellie posted on her grown-up life. And Nellie, knowing that we were acquainted, keeps me updated too. So when a birthday card arrived with a new photo of their family, of course Nellie showed it to me.
"Oh, how nice!" I exclaimed. "What a sweet picture."
Nellie frowned and pointed at each of them in turn. "But look, he's shorter than she is. And his face is so round. And why does her hair look like that? How can she have married a man who's shorter than herself? A woman wants to look up to her husband!"
I had a sinking feeling about the direction of the conversation; Nellie was moving quickly into her stubborn and irrational mode. I tried to reason with her: "He's not short--he's just sitting down. Maybe he's hunched over a little. Look at that older picture (I pointed to one on her wall). See, when he's standing, you can tell that he's quite a bit taller than her. Besides, short isn't bad...he's a handsome guy."
"No, no, he's just short. I don't like short men. Nobody likes short men. I know what happened: she didn't get married right away, so she just said 'yes' to the first person who asked. I never heard anything about him until her mom said they were married, so she must have just met him and got married in a week! Didn't you know your husband a long time before you married him?"
I could feel irritation rising like a wave of heat as I listened to her carry on about how incomprehensible it was that her student should marry a short man she barely knew; I could tell that it was futile to argue, but I couldn't ignore the injustice of it all. "How do you know that they didn't meet months before they married? And anyway, don't you know that people are different? My husband and I were longtime friends, but I know people who have gotten married in just a few weeks."
"Well," Nellie demanded, "would you marry him?"
"Of course not."
"There!" she was triumphant. "Because he's short and has a round face, right?"
I wanted to shake her. "No, because I've never met him and I already have a husband!"
But there was no convincing her. I left that day so frustrated that my head hurt.
Last Tuesday, Nellie waited until I'd been there about half an hour to mention a surprise visit the previous weekend from my old friend. "And she brought her husband and baby--and her husband was so handsome! So tall and strong and good looking, and so nice. She said in the birthday picture he had been sitting on the ground, and she was on something to make her taller. Such a lovely family."
I rolled my eyes at her in exasperation. "I TOLD you."
She chuckled sheepishly. "You did, didn't you?"
