Chulki

    Katya is turning 18, and Nellie, as an adopted Baba, wanted to get her a special gift. Well, to be more precise, she wanted me to get Katya a special gift. "It's a box about this big," she indicated with her hands, "and there are three rows of candy--gold, silver, and...umm...dark. Will you get one and send it to her in Virginia?"
    "What kind of candy? Is it chocolate?"
    "Yes, of course it's chocolate.What other kind of candy is there? We've had them before--gold, silver and dark. Kind of round, you know, and some of them have nuts in them. And if you go into the store, then you turn left and go a little more and then there's some other candy and then the ones I want. And a birthday card, a pretty one. And I need face cream too. I only have enough left for one week, and then it will be gone."
    I thought I knew what she meant, even though the directions weren't terribly clear, and began my search on Friday afternoon. Unfortunately, I ran into trouble immediately because Walmart had run out of that particular box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates--the only assortment was a much bigger box than Nellie had requested. Not sure how to proceed, I decided to call and ask.
    "Nellie, it's Jessica. I'm at the store and they don't have the little box of candy, only a big one. Do you still want it?"
    "What? Jessica? What are you talking about?"
    "The candy, for Katya's birthday. Remember? You asked me to buy it?"
    "Oh, yes. So what's the matter? Where are you?"
    "I'm at the store. And I'm looking at the candy, but they only have little boxes of all gold, or all dark. There's great big box with all the colors, but it is more expensive. Do you still want it?"
    "Yes, that's fine. It's her eighteenth birthday. But it's such a good thing you called, because I tried to call you and you didn't answer and I really, really need you to buy me some chulki."
    I racked my brain trying to remember if I'd ever known that word before in my life. I determined that I hadn't. "Chulki? I don't know what that is. Can you describe it any other way?"
    Nellie thought. "I don't know...it's just chulki."
    "But I don't know that word. What is it for? What do you do with it?"
    "Well, they're like socks, but black and long. Not too long, just to the knees. And not thick; they have to be thin to wear with dress shoes. You wear them with skirts. I need black."
    Perhaps she meant knee-highs. I hoped so. "Alright, Nellie, I think I understand. I'll try to find some and bring them with me on Tuesday. Do svidanya (goodbye)."
    And I continued on my hunt. Candy, check. Black knee-highs, check. Birthday card, check. Face cream...oh dear, Olay decided to raise the price on their night cream. Day cream was fine, but Nellie's night cream apparently now cost twice as much as usual. With a sigh, I called Nellie again.
    "Hello, Nellie, it's Jessica again. I found everything except the night cream. The one you like is much more expensive than it used to be--do you still want it? Or I could get the store brand, but you didn't like it as much."
    "What? Chulki, chulki...I told you, they're like socks, but long, to the knees, and black."
    I shook my head, even though she couldn't see me. "Yes, yes, I found those. Now I'm looking at face cream."
    "I don't understand. What's wrong? You found the chulki? And now you're going straight ahead?" The word for "cream" and the word for "straight ahead" do sound a bit similar.
    I tried speaking louder, as clearly as I could. "Cream. Remember, you needed face cream? I found your day cream, but your night cream costs too much. What do you want me to do?" But although I was practically shouting (in Russian) in the middle of Walmart's facial care aisle, Nellie simply could not understand what I was talking about.
    "You're going straight ahead? Where are you going? I don't understand." She sounded so tired, but I was at my wits' end.
    "Cream for your face. I'm not going anywhere right now. I'm looking at face cream and I need to know what you want, since your night cream costs twelve dollars now!"
    "Ohhhh, cream. Why does it cost so much?"
    I rolled my eyes. "I have no idea."
    "Well, just get the other one."
    Phone adventures with Nellie are exhausting.

Little White Things

    Nellie wears dentures. She had only a few teeth left when I met her, and it wasn't long until all of them needed to come out. So I took her to the dentist and we sat for a very long time, fitting and re-fitting, until finally we left with a new set of teeth. I think it took two visits. It was excruciating, for Nellie at least--the poor thing was completely exhausted. But now she has a mouth full of teeth, which would be very handy for chewing if she could find something to hold them in. Unfortunately, she isn't interested in denture glue. I tried. She might have used the stuff I brought her, several years ago now, but she didn't like it. So most days, even when she remembers not to talk with her mouth full, it's still a little tricky to understand her because her teeth just won't hold still!
    One afternoon, however, she came up with a solution. "You know what I would really like to have?" she asked me. I couldn't guess, so she went on. "I saw it on TV--a lady went into a drugstore and they gave her something and she put it on her teeth and smiled and everything was wonderful! I would love to have some."
    I don't watch a lot of television, and I don't have very much experience with dentures, so I wasn't quite sure what exactly it was that she would love to have. "But what is it?" I tried to get her to clarify.
    "It's little white things," she demonstrated with her hands. "There are big ones and little ones, I think. I'd rather have the little ones."
    "And you can get it at any drugstore? Or is there a specific place I need to look?"
    "Oh, I think you can get it at any drugstore. And the lady smiled big, like this--and everything worked out perfectly!"
    "But what is it? Is it glue for your dentures?"
    Nellie made a face. "No, not glue. Who wants glue? It's little white things."
    I still wasn't sure what I was supposed to be looking for. "What does it do? Does it hold your teeth in?"
    "I think so."
    "So it's like stickers for your teeth, maybe?"
    "Maybe so. They show it on TV all the time! Doesn't your grandma wear dentures? You can ask her."
    I shook my head dubiously. "No, my grandma has all her own teeth still. But I'll try."
   
    I've looked at two different drugstores and asked various denture-wearing and non-denture-wearing friends. No one has heard of such a thing, but we haven't given up hope yet.